5 Cyberpunk Promises I Wish Had Come True

5 Cyberpunk Promises I Wish Had Come True

Cyberpunk is usually seen as one of the science fiction genres which was most accurate in its forecasting.  But we're not quite there yet!


1.    Cyberspace Without Typing

Famously, the concept of cyberspace (particularly as seen in William Gibson's Neuromancer) is said to have come to life as the internet.  Well I'll tell you something, that is just not true.  Except for your parents, who probably feel that anything that happens in a "browser" is exhilarating, and that the mere act of "Googling" a thing is just futuristic beyond belief.

The connectedness is there, yes.  But you know what?  I don't remember anyone typing in any of those cyberpunk novels.  I distinctly remember that the authors took pains to mention that the "decks" didn't have a keyboard of any sort.  Just a plug you stuck into your brain, and maybe a pair of special gloves to wear.

Realistically though, spending my entire work day performing the pantomime from "Johnny Mnemonic" would get pretty tedious.  Just imagining how much I'd have to wave my arms around in order to check my bank balance makes me tired.

2.    Nihilism

Oh they are so hard and bitter, the characters in a cyberpunk novel.  (And rightfully so, since the genre hails from the hard boiled detective genre of the 40s and 50s.)  Everyone is hard and bitter, their eyes glistening like some poetically described shiny surface.  

I have to admit, sometimes I get tired of caring about so many things.  Climate change, recycling, bringing my tote bags to the grocery store, I should have changed out of these sweats and into proper pants, does my hair look weird, I hope I remembered to pay my cell phone bill, I need to respond to that email Dad sent before he starts worrying I've gone missing, is there a new episode of "House" tonight or is that tomorrow night?

Cyberpunk characters don't give a rip about anything, certainly not these petty day-to-day concerns of an adult in the year 2009.

3.    Everyone Is Cool

This could actually be considered a sub-set of #2, if you think about it.  But beyond being nihilistic, everyone in cyberpunk novels was irredeemably awesome

William Gibson never mentioned your elderly aunt who collects dollar store "Love Is" figurines.  Bruce Sterling's novels didn't have room for Ted in Marketing who just clapped you on the shoulder and offered a hearty "TGIF!" on his way to the break room.  

4.    Efficient, High-Speed Global Travel

Remember when Case took a sub-orbital ballistic flight in order to hop continents?  Where are those, exactly?  Because the last time I checked, we were still flying around in AIRPLANES, for crying out loud.  

5.    Medical Advancements


Doctors can do the craziest things in cyberpunk novels!  Forget the advances in artificial intelligence by the computer sciences - medical technology is definitely the handwavium of the genre.  Nanites that eat cancer cells!  Tiny bombs that clamp onto your arteries and wait for a remote detonation signal!  USB ports bored into your skull!  Okay, so we've managed the complete hand transplant, but that's not cool, that's just creepy.